1 00:00:01,089 --> 00:00:02,590 JIMMY: My parents had a rule 2 00:00:02,624 --> 00:00:05,126 that if either one of them ever came into some unexpected cash, 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,495 they bought the other one a gift. 4 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,397 And they'd been doing it a long time. 5 00:00:09,431 --> 00:00:11,232 I put on one of Paw Paw's old coats 6 00:00:11,266 --> 00:00:12,567 and there was ten bucks in the pocket. 7 00:00:12,601 --> 00:00:14,168 I paid extra for the guy behind the counter 8 00:00:14,203 --> 00:00:15,336 to solve it for you. 9 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:18,406 Everyone's gonna think I'm a genius. 10 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,575 They were drug-testing all the guys buying mulch. 11 00:00:20,609 --> 00:00:22,443 Three different guys gave me ten bucks for my pee. 12 00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:24,078 The war on drugs is really working. 13 00:00:24,112 --> 00:00:25,313 - Yes! - Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:25,347 --> 00:00:26,347 Bubble wrap! 15 00:00:26,381 --> 00:00:28,249 Now I can do that neck cracking thing. 16 00:00:28,283 --> 00:00:30,251 - (bubbles popping) - Ow. 17 00:00:30,285 --> 00:00:31,252 (groans) 18 00:00:31,286 --> 00:00:33,087 Some guy gave me ten dollars 19 00:00:33,121 --> 00:00:35,423 just to drive his car across town and not look in the trunk. 20 00:00:35,457 --> 00:00:37,225 (gasps) Fixes everything. 21 00:00:39,394 --> 00:00:41,762 I was at the mall and got paid 20 bucks to go into a room 22 00:00:41,797 --> 00:00:43,764 and decide what was going to be on NBC next season. 23 00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:45,666 A banana hammock! 24 00:00:45,701 --> 00:00:46,834 This is great. 25 00:00:46,869 --> 00:00:48,669 Now we have somewhere for the bananas to sleep 26 00:00:48,704 --> 00:00:49,871 so they won't feel judged 27 00:00:49,905 --> 00:00:50,938 by all the other fruit 28 00:00:50,973 --> 00:00:52,940 for their irregular shape. 29 00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:55,009 JIMMY: When my mom got promoted at Knock Knock Knock, 30 00:00:55,043 --> 00:00:57,612 her raise was the biggest "found money" of her life. 31 00:00:57,646 --> 00:00:59,313 Okay, Maw Maw. 32 00:00:59,348 --> 00:01:01,783 Tell him what he's won! 33 00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:03,384 It's a pregnant donkey! 34 00:01:03,418 --> 00:01:04,786 No, Maw Maw. 35 00:01:04,820 --> 00:01:05,820 It's a grill! 36 00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:09,290 It's not just any grill, Burt. 37 00:01:09,324 --> 00:01:10,792 Haven't you seen the commercial where the pig's 38 00:01:10,826 --> 00:01:12,326 last wish is to be cooked in one of these? 39 00:01:12,361 --> 00:01:14,462 Pretty sure they pay the pigs to say that. 40 00:01:14,496 --> 00:01:16,964 Besides, I'm in more of a soup mood. 41 00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:19,000 Oh, okay. 42 00:01:20,335 --> 00:01:21,235 I liked this job 43 00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,570 a lot better when 44 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,505 I got to sleep with Bob Barker. 45 00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:27,475 Whoo! 46 00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:28,876 Here we go 47 00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:31,913 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 48 00:01:31,914 --> 00:01:32,650 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 49 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,318 Hello, post-sex ice cream sandwich. 50 00:01:37,352 --> 00:01:40,988 I have earned you and you will be mine. 51 00:01:41,023 --> 00:01:42,356 Whoa! Who are you? 52 00:01:42,391 --> 00:01:43,324 Who are you? 53 00:01:43,358 --> 00:01:44,659 Sabrina! 54 00:01:44,693 --> 00:01:47,095 There is a crazy lady in our house. 55 00:01:47,129 --> 00:01:49,063 What? 56 00:01:49,098 --> 00:01:50,098 Eleanor? 57 00:01:50,132 --> 00:01:50,932 Sabrina. 58 00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:51,833 (laughing) 59 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:52,900 You know this woman? 60 00:01:52,935 --> 00:01:55,002 (sighs) Oh, this is my husband Jimmy. 61 00:01:55,037 --> 00:01:56,838 Jimmy, this is Miss Eleanor. 62 00:01:56,872 --> 00:01:58,272 She's Nana's old maid. 63 00:01:58,307 --> 00:01:59,507 Well, not old maid. 64 00:01:59,541 --> 00:02:00,741 But you're not really that young, 65 00:02:00,776 --> 00:02:02,009 and you didn't ever marry... 66 00:02:02,044 --> 00:02:03,111 That's enough, dear. 67 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:04,645 I haven't seen you in forever. 68 00:02:05,547 --> 00:02:06,948 What are you doing here? 69 00:02:06,982 --> 00:02:08,116 ELEANOR: I was in the hospital 70 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,351 getting my hips, knees and elbows replaced. 71 00:02:10,385 --> 00:02:12,854 But now I am spry as a kangaroo 72 00:02:12,888 --> 00:02:15,556 and ready to get back working for your grandmother. 73 00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:17,191 My grandmother? 74 00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:18,559 Her door was closed. 75 00:02:18,594 --> 00:02:21,295 I assume she's sleeping off her breakfast cocktail? 76 00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:22,930 Oh, she's sleeping all right. 77 00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:24,532 Very soundly. 78 00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:25,633 (buzzes) 79 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:26,768 Oh, my scones are done. 80 00:02:26,802 --> 00:02:27,735 (quietly): Come on. 81 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:29,570 Come on... 82 00:02:29,605 --> 00:02:31,038 She doesn't know Nana's dead. 83 00:02:31,073 --> 00:02:32,039 What should I do? 84 00:02:32,074 --> 00:02:33,408 Well, just say what you said 85 00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:35,476 to her... her gardener, her butler and her jester: 86 00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:38,212 "Nana's dead... we can't afford you now." 87 00:02:38,247 --> 00:02:39,547 But that wasn't her jester. 88 00:02:39,581 --> 00:02:41,115 That was her violent, alcoholic dog walker. 89 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,617 She just put those little bells on his hat 90 00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:44,218 so she would know when he was coming. 91 00:02:44,253 --> 00:02:46,487 But you're right. There's nothing better than the truth. 92 00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,890 Except for Eleanor's 93 00:02:48,924 --> 00:02:52,160 double chocolate triple berry nut scones. 94 00:02:52,194 --> 00:02:55,396 And don't forget my handmade whipped cream. 95 00:02:55,431 --> 00:02:57,298 Oh, mmm. 96 00:02:57,332 --> 00:02:58,332 Mmm... 97 00:02:59,268 --> 00:03:01,169 Eleanor... 98 00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:02,437 there's something I have to tell you. 99 00:03:03,439 --> 00:03:05,540 Nana's on vacation in Peru. 100 00:03:06,275 --> 00:03:07,241 Say no more. 101 00:03:07,276 --> 00:03:08,342 I understand completely. 102 00:03:08,377 --> 00:03:09,811 Toot toot. 103 00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:12,180 Well... 104 00:03:15,551 --> 00:03:18,419 Burt... why aren't you using the new grill? 105 00:03:18,454 --> 00:03:19,954 'Cause I love this old one. 106 00:03:19,988 --> 00:03:21,656 It has been seasoned. 107 00:03:21,690 --> 00:03:23,925 Gives everything that great hickory chrome flavor. 108 00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:25,359 Plus one lucky person's burger 109 00:03:25,394 --> 00:03:27,695 gets branded with the words: "Please return cart." 110 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,597 Oh, forgot my matches. 111 00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:32,100 Oh, my gosh... 112 00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,835 the Burn Master Pro Series. 113 00:03:33,869 --> 00:03:35,603 Their slogan used to be, 114 00:03:35,637 --> 00:03:37,538 "Lights so easy, a child could do it." 115 00:03:37,573 --> 00:03:39,941 I wonder why they changed that. 116 00:03:39,975 --> 00:03:41,542 Yeah, why aren't we cooking on this baby? 117 00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:42,944 Half my day is spent 118 00:03:42,978 --> 00:03:44,846 chiseling boogers off shopping carts. 119 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,948 I don't really want to eat food cooked on one. 120 00:03:46,982 --> 00:03:48,616 I know, it's weird. 121 00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:50,318 I got a raise, so I bought Burt 122 00:03:50,352 --> 00:03:52,286 this fancy new grill, and he won't even touch it. 123 00:03:52,321 --> 00:03:54,288 You bought it for him... 124 00:03:54,323 --> 00:03:58,326 Well, that explains why we're eating booger burgers. 125 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,961 Yeah, Virginia. 126 00:03:59,995 --> 00:04:01,529 A man's grill is his connection 127 00:04:01,563 --> 00:04:02,964 to his primal beginnings. 128 00:04:02,998 --> 00:04:05,466 It's a true extension of his manhood. 129 00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:07,235 He means it's like his wiener. 130 00:04:07,269 --> 00:04:08,136 Exactly. 131 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,837 You basically just wheeled in 132 00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:11,839 a bigger, more powerful wiener 133 00:04:11,874 --> 00:04:13,641 and put it right in his backyard. 134 00:04:13,675 --> 00:04:15,877 And if I know Burt, he's not the kind of guy 135 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:17,311 who likes a big, powerful wiener 136 00:04:17,346 --> 00:04:19,480 shoved into his backyard. 137 00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:20,515 That's ridiculous. 138 00:04:20,549 --> 00:04:22,550 Burt does not think that way. 139 00:04:24,186 --> 00:04:26,421 Hey, Burt, before you light that, 140 00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,523 are you sure you won't even try the new grill? 141 00:04:28,557 --> 00:04:29,490 Yeah. 142 00:04:29,525 --> 00:04:30,992 I love this little guy. 143 00:04:31,026 --> 00:04:32,393 It leans to the left 144 00:04:32,428 --> 00:04:34,495 and it takes a little longer to heat up than it used to, 145 00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:36,064 but once I get cooking, 146 00:04:36,098 --> 00:04:37,899 nobody's left unsatisfied. 147 00:04:51,547 --> 00:04:52,613 VIRGINIA: Burt? 148 00:04:52,648 --> 00:04:54,449 What's this giant present? 149 00:04:54,483 --> 00:04:56,484 I bought it for you! 150 00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:58,720 Found money! 151 00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:01,289 Oh, man, this is amazing! 152 00:05:01,323 --> 00:05:03,224 Oh... 153 00:05:03,258 --> 00:05:04,559 How much money did you find? 154 00:05:04,593 --> 00:05:05,860 $320, 155 00:05:05,894 --> 00:05:07,462 tucked away in a heater vent. 156 00:05:07,496 --> 00:05:09,063 I thought Paw Paw must've put it in there, 157 00:05:09,098 --> 00:05:10,732 but when I asked Maw Maw about it, she said "Who's Paw Paw?" 158 00:05:10,766 --> 00:05:11,733 So I think we're good. 159 00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,901 Burt, I put that money in there. 160 00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:16,371 Wait a minute. 161 00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:17,939 If you found money, 162 00:05:17,973 --> 00:05:20,041 you were supposed to buy me a gift. 163 00:05:20,075 --> 00:05:21,209 Does that mean I get the chair? 164 00:05:21,243 --> 00:05:22,410 No, Burt... 165 00:05:25,414 --> 00:05:27,281 I didn't find the money. 166 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:29,484 I got a raise 167 00:05:29,518 --> 00:05:30,785 and I've been hiding the cash 168 00:05:30,819 --> 00:05:32,320 'cause I didn't want you to see it and feel bad. 169 00:05:32,354 --> 00:05:34,222 Why would I feel bad? 170 00:05:34,256 --> 00:05:37,225 - Because I make more money than you? - I don't care about that. 171 00:05:37,259 --> 00:05:40,061 Well, then why won't you use the fancy new grill I bought you? 172 00:05:40,095 --> 00:05:41,329 Because the shopping cart has years 173 00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:42,630 of seasoning caked right into it. 174 00:05:42,665 --> 00:05:43,931 I love cooking on that thing. 175 00:05:43,966 --> 00:05:46,234 You're not feeling demasculated? 176 00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:47,602 You kidding? I'm proud of you. 177 00:05:47,636 --> 00:05:49,037 How much are you making anyway? 178 00:05:50,773 --> 00:05:52,740 Here's my last pay stub. 179 00:05:52,775 --> 00:05:54,742 There's a comma in this. 180 00:05:54,777 --> 00:05:56,978 We've never made comma money. 181 00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,079 Are you upset? 182 00:05:58,113 --> 00:06:00,081 Upset? I'm retiring. 183 00:06:00,115 --> 00:06:02,083 I'm out, baby! 184 00:06:02,117 --> 00:06:03,084 I'm not going to work today, 185 00:06:03,118 --> 00:06:04,485 tomorrow or ever. 186 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,422 I'm gonna call my boss and tell him to screw himself. 187 00:06:07,456 --> 00:06:09,057 And since I'm my boss, I just did! 188 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,445 So what's your plan for today? 189 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,782 Oh, I got a lot of things I want to get to. 190 00:06:15,817 --> 00:06:17,884 First thing, I want to watch that little bird 191 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,119 come out of that clock. 192 00:06:19,153 --> 00:06:21,955 (rhythmic creaking) 193 00:06:21,989 --> 00:06:23,123 That's not a cuckoo clock. 194 00:06:23,157 --> 00:06:25,959 We'll see. 195 00:06:25,993 --> 00:06:27,794 Are you sure you want to quit your job? 196 00:06:27,829 --> 00:06:29,996 Well, after expenses, I barely broke even anyway. 197 00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:31,998 It's more of a hobby than a job. 198 00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:34,134 And I always said, when my business made it big, 199 00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:36,303 you could quit being a maid and follow your passion. 200 00:06:36,337 --> 00:06:38,238 Well, since you're the one who made it big... 201 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,806 You want to follow your passion. 202 00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:42,642 - Heck, yeah. - So, what is your passion? 203 00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:44,644 My passion is fashion. 204 00:06:44,679 --> 00:06:46,513 Wait, no. 205 00:06:46,547 --> 00:06:48,615 I just heard Tim Gunn say that. 206 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,618 I guess I don't have one. 207 00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:54,888 (rhythmic creaking) 208 00:06:54,922 --> 00:06:56,890 Sabrina, we've got to tell Eleanor 209 00:06:56,924 --> 00:06:59,025 that we can't afford to pay her. 210 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:01,328 But, Jimmy, did you feel how soft 211 00:07:01,362 --> 00:07:03,263 those towels were in the bathroom? 212 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,532 It was like drying your face with a kitten. 213 00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:08,335 So, we'll rescue a kitten for you to rub your face on. 214 00:07:08,369 --> 00:07:09,536 Eleanor? 215 00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:10,771 Oh. Excuse me. 216 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,740 - Uh, we need to talk to you. - Just let me give you your tea first. 217 00:07:13,775 --> 00:07:16,610 Here's chamomile with one sugar for you, and 218 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,746 for the master of the house, chilled grape soda. 219 00:07:19,781 --> 00:07:21,114 Mm-hmm. 220 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,349 Listen, Eleanor... 221 00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:24,184 My God, this grape soda is good. 222 00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:25,685 Oh, thank you. 223 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,622 I went all the way to the bad part of town for it. 224 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,024 That's nice. And also, Nana's dead. 225 00:07:31,058 --> 00:07:31,858 Yeah. 226 00:07:31,893 --> 00:07:33,293 She's dead? 227 00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,561 Oh. 228 00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:36,029 Oh, my God, that's so sad. 229 00:07:36,063 --> 00:07:36,863 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 230 00:07:36,898 --> 00:07:38,465 Do I still get my money? 231 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,566 What money? 232 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,901 From the trust that Nana set up 233 00:07:40,935 --> 00:07:42,302 so that I could always work here? 234 00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:44,037 Wait a second. 235 00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,539 So we don't have to pay you a dime, 236 00:07:45,573 --> 00:07:47,407 and you'll keep kitten-ing up our towels? 237 00:07:47,442 --> 00:07:49,209 That's correct. Now, 238 00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:51,578 would you like a straw for your grape soda? 239 00:07:51,612 --> 00:07:53,580 I think it's what Nana would have wanted. 240 00:07:53,614 --> 00:07:55,582 Yes. 241 00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:57,617 Ah! 242 00:07:58,786 --> 00:08:00,554 JIMMY: With so much time on his hands, 243 00:08:00,588 --> 00:08:04,224 my dad made finding his passion a full-time job. 244 00:08:04,258 --> 00:08:06,259 (popping) 245 00:08:07,261 --> 00:08:09,296 The Chinese are finally coming ashore, 246 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:11,098 looking for the money we owe them. 247 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,103 So I can't have sex and I have to shave my head. 248 00:08:16,137 --> 00:08:18,071 I'm sorry. I thought I was going 249 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,407 to be solving crimes with a germaphobic dude. 250 00:08:20,441 --> 00:08:22,943 (laughter) 251 00:08:28,015 --> 00:08:29,983 Oh, my God! 252 00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:31,284 That is amazing! 253 00:08:31,319 --> 00:08:32,519 I know, 254 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,654 but while I was carving it, I felt nothing. 255 00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:35,922 This isn't my passion, 256 00:08:35,957 --> 00:08:37,657 just something I'm incredibly good at. 257 00:08:37,692 --> 00:08:39,126 (thudding) What's for lunch? 258 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,460 (slurping through straw) 259 00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:47,501 (whistling) 260 00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:53,473 (squawking) 261 00:08:53,508 --> 00:08:54,641 Guess I'm no good at this. 262 00:09:00,314 --> 00:09:03,016 (chirping) 263 00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,051 (screeches) 264 00:09:05,053 --> 00:09:06,853 What? 265 00:09:06,888 --> 00:09:09,823 Burt, wake up. 266 00:09:09,857 --> 00:09:11,458 What happened? 267 00:09:11,492 --> 00:09:13,460 I couldn't find my passion. 268 00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:15,562 I tried all day, and nothing. 269 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,964 It feels like it shouldn't take you a long time 270 00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:19,299 to figure out your passion. 271 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,635 It took me a long time to figure out my passion. 272 00:09:21,669 --> 00:09:23,904 Well, maybe you just need to keep looking. 273 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,639 But my wife told me to keep looking. 274 00:09:25,673 --> 00:09:26,740 I mean, maybe you... 275 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:27,741 Shh. I think the TV's trying 276 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:28,975 to tell me something. 277 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:33,180 Turns out my passion was justice, justice, justice. 278 00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:37,104 NARRATOR: The only show shot entirely in Mullet Vision. 279 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:42,342 (Taser clicking, man sputtering) 280 00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:44,978 Mullet... Natesville's answer to crime. 281 00:09:45,013 --> 00:09:47,147 Oh, my God, that looks perfect for me! 282 00:09:47,182 --> 00:09:48,582 You want to be a bounty hunter? 283 00:09:48,616 --> 00:09:50,851 No, I meant growing a mullet and running in slow motion, 284 00:09:50,885 --> 00:09:52,085 but that's even better. 285 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,587 You really get me, Virginia. 286 00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:56,590 I have found my passion. 287 00:09:56,624 --> 00:09:58,792 Burt Chance: Bounty Hunter. 288 00:10:11,134 --> 00:10:13,235 Are you going to be a bounty hunter, 289 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,371 or fight the robbers from Home Alone? 290 00:10:15,405 --> 00:10:17,506 I have to be prepared for anything. 291 00:10:17,541 --> 00:10:19,508 I've even got a baseball cap, 292 00:10:19,543 --> 00:10:21,844 princess hat, and a sombrero 293 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:23,846 so I can blend in anywhere, or at least 294 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,015 at a ballgame, a castle or Mexico. 295 00:10:26,049 --> 00:10:29,018 Babe, this whole thing seems really dangerous. 296 00:10:29,052 --> 00:10:32,021 Look, I got a list of Natesville's bail-skippers. 297 00:10:32,055 --> 00:10:33,456 None of them are very dangerous. 298 00:10:33,490 --> 00:10:35,691 This guy's got a bunch of outstanding parking tickets 299 00:10:35,726 --> 00:10:37,193 for one of those wimpy motorcycles 300 00:10:37,227 --> 00:10:38,627 with two wheels in the front. 301 00:10:38,662 --> 00:10:41,297 Burt, fat guys with ponytails can be dangerous, too. 302 00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:42,932 Virginia, I love you, but don't worry. 303 00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:44,200 I promise to be safe. 304 00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:45,901 And as soon as I've collared enough perps, 305 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,203 I'm gonna buy a bulletproof vest. 306 00:10:47,237 --> 00:10:48,404 And until then, 307 00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:51,273 I'll be protected by this fishing vest 308 00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:53,309 full of flasks and bibles. 309 00:10:57,247 --> 00:10:59,148 Eleanor, can you keep down the dusting? 310 00:10:59,182 --> 00:11:01,317 We're trying to watch Hiking with the Stars. 311 00:11:01,351 --> 00:11:03,319 SABRINA: Oh, I know. I can hardly 312 00:11:03,353 --> 00:11:06,656 hear Paula Deen sucking the venom out of Coolio's leg. 313 00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:08,658 My hair's never been cleaner 314 00:11:08,692 --> 00:11:10,760 since you came into my life, Eleanor. 315 00:11:10,794 --> 00:11:12,895 Not hard to believe, sir. 316 00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:14,597 Hey, Eleanor? 317 00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:16,399 Do you mind cotton-swabbing my ears? 318 00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:18,901 Sometimes I get excited, and I go too deep too fast. 319 00:11:18,935 --> 00:11:20,936 Here you go. 320 00:11:36,119 --> 00:11:37,086 Nate Henson? 321 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,288 Burt Chance, bounty hunter. 322 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:40,957 You're coming with me, come here. 323 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:42,525 No, you big jerk, I'm Phil! 324 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,093 Nate's my identical twin brother! 325 00:11:44,127 --> 00:11:45,661 Ah, please, nice try. 326 00:11:45,696 --> 00:11:47,263 Even though you were arrested for shoplifting, 327 00:11:47,297 --> 00:11:49,131 the real crime's the murder of these innocent plants 328 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,266 on this property. 329 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,034 Even the weeds are dead. 330 00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:54,804 Phil, uh, 331 00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:55,838 what's going on, man? 332 00:11:55,872 --> 00:11:57,707 Nate? Nate Henson? 333 00:11:57,741 --> 00:11:59,141 Bail-skipping shoplifter? 334 00:12:00,143 --> 00:12:01,944 Aw, crap. 335 00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:03,846 No hard feelings, Phil. 336 00:12:04,748 --> 00:12:06,048 Now... 337 00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,618 who's next after Nate Henson? 338 00:12:08,652 --> 00:12:10,419 Phil Henson. 339 00:12:13,757 --> 00:12:14,790 Damn it. 340 00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:16,292 (knocking) 341 00:12:16,326 --> 00:12:19,028 Mabel Harrington. Open up. 342 00:12:19,062 --> 00:12:22,698 I've got a comically oversized check for you and some balloons. 343 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:24,867 What's going on? 344 00:12:24,901 --> 00:12:26,469 I'm... I'm so confused. 345 00:12:26,503 --> 00:12:28,037 Well, you weren't confused when you skipped bail 346 00:12:28,071 --> 00:12:30,306 on $5,000 worth of parking tickets. 347 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:33,809 Oh, dear. There must be a misunderstanding. 348 00:12:33,844 --> 00:12:35,711 I'm feeling a little faint. 349 00:12:37,114 --> 00:12:39,315 Taste pepper spray, copper! 350 00:12:39,349 --> 00:12:40,816 (chuckles) Nice try. 351 00:12:40,851 --> 00:12:42,385 That's just cinnamon breath spray. 352 00:12:42,419 --> 00:12:43,185 (chuckles) 353 00:12:44,755 --> 00:12:48,057 (screams) Turns out cinnamon burns. 354 00:12:48,091 --> 00:12:50,092 Good. 355 00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:54,597 Burt Chance, bounty hunter. 356 00:12:58,135 --> 00:13:02,138 Oh, I did not think this through. 357 00:13:03,373 --> 00:13:06,542 Do you prefer a right or a left hang? 358 00:13:08,045 --> 00:13:11,247 My dentist is going to be so happy we got a maid. 359 00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:13,115 - Mmm. - (door opens) 360 00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,384 You guys, 361 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,219 I need your help. Your father... 362 00:13:18,221 --> 00:13:19,355 The hell is going on here? 363 00:13:19,389 --> 00:13:20,356 What does it look like? 364 00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:21,357 We're getting our teeth flossed. 365 00:13:21,391 --> 00:13:24,260 We're maid people now. 366 00:13:24,294 --> 00:13:26,529 As a member of the domestic service community, 367 00:13:26,563 --> 00:13:29,699 normally right now I'd be giving you a long talking-to 368 00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:31,367 about abusing your maid, but your father 369 00:13:31,401 --> 00:13:32,602 might be dead. 370 00:13:32,636 --> 00:13:35,371 Eleanor, adjust my face to express shock. 371 00:13:35,405 --> 00:13:36,706 Very good, sir. 372 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:37,473 Allow me. 373 00:13:37,507 --> 00:13:39,375 - (moans) - Your father is following his dream 374 00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:40,610 to become a bounty hunter. 375 00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:41,944 But I'm really worried because 376 00:13:41,979 --> 00:13:43,112 I've called him 37 times 377 00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:44,547 and he hasn't answered his phone, 378 00:13:44,581 --> 00:13:46,382 so I need you to help me 379 00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:48,884 get on the computer and do that thing where you find his phone. 380 00:13:48,919 --> 00:13:50,886 No problem. That's exactly how I rescued Jimmy 381 00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:52,955 when he got stuck in that parking garage in the mall. 382 00:13:54,091 --> 00:13:56,025 I was chasing a balloon. 383 00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:04,867 BURT: Virginia? 384 00:14:04,902 --> 00:14:06,903 Burt? 385 00:14:07,905 --> 00:14:09,438 What are you doing here? 386 00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,107 You haven't been answering your phone, 387 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:12,642 and I've been worried sick. 388 00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:14,644 I turned it off. I can't get the jump on a skip 389 00:14:14,678 --> 00:14:17,246 with my cell phone on blast... man. 390 00:14:17,281 --> 00:14:19,582 I'll admit it. It's pretty damn sexy 391 00:14:19,616 --> 00:14:21,183 when you talk like a bounty hunter, 392 00:14:21,218 --> 00:14:23,252 but it's too stressful for me to have you out here 393 00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:25,254 on the streets. I want you to come home. 394 00:14:25,289 --> 00:14:26,589 This is my passion. 395 00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:28,758 Hunting bounties is what I was put on Earth to do. 396 00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,927 Asking me to stop is like asking Fleetwood Mac 397 00:14:30,961 --> 00:14:33,029 to stop thinking about tomorrow. He'll never do it. 398 00:14:33,063 --> 00:14:34,363 Okay. 399 00:14:34,398 --> 00:14:37,667 When you put it like that, I can't ask you to stop, 400 00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:41,504 but I can't sit at home worrying about you either. So... 401 00:14:41,538 --> 00:14:43,839 if this really is your passion, 402 00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:45,441 we should do it together. 403 00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:46,943 Well, I really could use a partner. 404 00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:49,178 Damn it. I should have built a bigger box. 405 00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:50,213 So who we staking out? 406 00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:51,480 It's my biggest payday yet. 407 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,682 The Big Kahuna. 408 00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:54,183 Really? What's his name? 409 00:14:54,218 --> 00:14:55,885 The Big Kahuna. 410 00:14:55,919 --> 00:14:58,554 MAN: Would you two amateurs shut up? 411 00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:00,623 You're gonna spook the skip. Shh! 412 00:15:00,657 --> 00:15:03,893 Mullet! I've seen all your shows. I'm a huge fan. 413 00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:06,462 Let me guess. Burt Chance? 414 00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,697 How'd you know who I am? 415 00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:08,864 I've been hearing about you all day. 416 00:15:08,899 --> 00:15:11,067 I can't have you moving in on my territory. 417 00:15:11,101 --> 00:15:13,302 I got a mortgage, I got two kids in private school, 418 00:15:13,337 --> 00:15:14,637 a woman who wants new countertops. 419 00:15:14,671 --> 00:15:15,805 You got to quit it, brother. 420 00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:17,406 No way. This is my destiny, man. 421 00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:19,642 Yeah, so step off, Achy Breaky. 422 00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:21,310 Mullet don't care about no destiny. 423 00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:22,478 This skip is mine. 424 00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:23,746 You understand? 425 00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:24,780 (shattering) 426 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,416 (grunting) 427 00:15:27,451 --> 00:15:28,918 (car alarm blaring) 428 00:15:28,952 --> 00:15:29,986 (panting) 429 00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,153 We got a runner! 430 00:15:31,188 --> 00:15:32,488 - Run, Burt! - (grunts) 431 00:15:32,523 --> 00:15:34,590 - Run! - (grunting) 432 00:15:44,742 --> 00:15:46,743 (grunts, panting) 433 00:15:50,781 --> 00:15:53,483 Hey! 434 00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,485 This plant's a wandering Jew! 435 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,321 I'm pretty sure that makes this a hate crime! 436 00:15:58,356 --> 00:16:01,091 (Mullet yells) 437 00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:18,875 WOMAN: What's going on? 438 00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,610 (sighs) It's a long story. 439 00:16:23,447 --> 00:16:25,415 Oh, Dowager Countess. 440 00:16:25,449 --> 00:16:27,851 You are salacious. 441 00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:30,754 Thank you, Master Bates. 442 00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:33,790 (panting) 443 00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,859 Why, what in heaven's name? 444 00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:36,793 (panting) 445 00:16:36,827 --> 00:16:38,628 (grunting) 446 00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:40,530 Sorry, buddy! 447 00:16:40,565 --> 00:16:42,032 Oh! 448 00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:43,967 (grunting) 449 00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,101 Sweet hair! 450 00:16:45,136 --> 00:16:46,436 Thanks, dude! 451 00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:47,404 Big fan! 452 00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:57,447 Crap! 453 00:16:57,481 --> 00:16:58,915 Look out! Turkey! 454 00:17:03,921 --> 00:17:06,056 Barney, stop him! 455 00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:08,058 I'd love to, but I've been working on this pyramid 456 00:17:08,092 --> 00:17:10,293 of paper towels for over six hours. 457 00:17:10,328 --> 00:17:11,394 MULLET: Whoa! 458 00:17:11,429 --> 00:17:12,896 Whoa, whoa, whoa. (laughs) 459 00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,998 Ah. 460 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,334 Come on. 461 00:17:21,439 --> 00:17:26,776 We've got quite a spillage of tea in the break room, Barnard. 462 00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:33,817 MAN (over P.A.): Cleanup in Aisle 1. 463 00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:36,553 (Sabrina sighs) 464 00:17:36,587 --> 00:17:39,055 Jimmy, 465 00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:40,557 why are you folding the laundry 466 00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:42,459 when we have somebody to do that for us now? 467 00:17:42,493 --> 00:17:44,227 I was thinking about what my mom said 468 00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:46,429 about abusing our maid, and... 469 00:17:46,464 --> 00:17:49,599 I think our behavior is starting to rub off on Hop. 470 00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:50,934 SABRINA (groans): Look, 471 00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:51,968 your mom is just jealous 472 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,837 because Eleanor is a house maid 473 00:17:53,871 --> 00:17:56,039 and your mom's just a regular maid for hire. 474 00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:59,609 Mmm. There. 475 00:17:59,644 --> 00:18:01,378 No crust, dummy! 476 00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:03,446 Oh, no! 477 00:18:03,481 --> 00:18:04,714 Oh, my God, we got to get rid of her. 478 00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:06,750 Eleanor, not Hope, right? 479 00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:10,020 Well, thanks to you, we lost him. 480 00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:12,455 Me? I'm the professional. 481 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,692 You amateurs cornered a dangerous criminal 482 00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:17,227 in a public space. 483 00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:19,462 I wouldn't call him dangerous. He's a graffiti artist. 484 00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:21,698 "Artist" is a loose term. 485 00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:24,100 He draws penises on stop signs. 486 00:18:27,838 --> 00:18:30,207 Come on down, Kahuna. You're not gonna get away. 487 00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:32,642 Never! And if you try to climb this tree, 488 00:18:32,677 --> 00:18:34,578 I'll paint a penis on it with indelible marker! 489 00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:36,246 Well, I hope that marker's fireproof 490 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,381 'cause I got a flamethrower in my truck 491 00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:40,250 with this stupid tree's name on it! 492 00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:41,484 Stupid tree? 493 00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:43,486 This is the oldest Eldanica pine in Natesville. 494 00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:46,489 - Who cares? - I do. I watched this tree grow up my whole life. 495 00:18:46,524 --> 00:18:48,158 I'm not gonna let you hurt it. 496 00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:49,826 I don't give a crap about some stupid tree. 497 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,995 I'm all about the bounty. That's who I am. 498 00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:54,564 Who are you, some sort of tree humper? 499 00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:56,233 I believe the phrase is "tree hugger." 500 00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:59,269 And if caring about a tree more than some stupid bounty makes me one, 501 00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:00,170 then maybe I am. 502 00:19:00,204 --> 00:19:03,507 Come here, big guy! 503 00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:06,176 Burt... 504 00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:08,011 I don't think you wanted to retire 505 00:19:08,045 --> 00:19:09,513 as much as you thought you did. 506 00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:11,848 I think you're right. 507 00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:13,850 Landscaping is my passion. 508 00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:15,085 Just like my passion, 509 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,120 drawing ding-dongs on stuff. 510 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,624 Mullet... 511 00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:22,759 you'll burn down this tree over my dead body. 512 00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:24,194 I wasn't really gonna burn the tree. 513 00:19:24,228 --> 00:19:26,263 I just needed something big before the commercial break. 514 00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:27,797 Well, how you gonna get him down? 515 00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:28,965 Tase time. 516 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,970 (clicking) (shouts) 517 00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:36,740 (sputtering) 518 00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:41,044 JIMMY: Eleanor, 519 00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:42,646 we need to talk to you. 520 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,216 I know my nana promised you a job for life here, 521 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,450 and... and it's really just that... 522 00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:49,286 we don't want Hope to grow up in a house 523 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,221 where somebody does everything for her. 524 00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:53,990 I'm really sorry, but I think we're gonna have to let you go. 525 00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:55,892 So you're firing me? 526 00:19:55,927 --> 00:19:57,460 That's a strong word. Uh, really, 527 00:19:57,495 --> 00:19:58,995 we're just giving you an opportunity... 528 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,231 Oh, thank God. 529 00:20:01,265 --> 00:20:03,567 I thought the only way I was gonna get out of this 530 00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:07,237 was if your cute family died in an unfortunate accident 531 00:20:07,271 --> 00:20:09,072 or if someone was dropping 532 00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:12,476 tiny drops of... of arsenic into your scones! 533 00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:13,743 You didn't. 534 00:20:13,778 --> 00:20:16,413 But of course not, but everyone daydreams. 535 00:20:16,447 --> 00:20:20,750 Well, you'll have to forward my mail to Jamaica! 536 00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:24,254 I'll be getting my groove back! 537 00:20:24,288 --> 00:20:26,857 Yay! (laughs) 538 00:20:26,891 --> 00:20:28,792 She took that better than I thought. 539 00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:33,096 You smell that, Virginia? 540 00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,199 You really love that old grill, don't you? 541 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,869 I do. Each burger's infused with the memory smell 542 00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:40,837 of 100 burgers before it. 543 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:41,772 (inhales deeply) 544 00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,707 Labor Day 2001. 545 00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:46,276 And you're sure you're not upset that I make more than you? 546 00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:49,679 Of course not. I love what I do and I love watching you succeed. 547 00:20:49,714 --> 00:20:51,548 Mom makes more than you? 548 00:20:51,582 --> 00:20:52,883 It's not that big of a deal. 549 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,451 I make more than you do and you don't care. 550 00:20:54,485 --> 00:20:56,453 What? You make more than me? 551 00:20:56,487 --> 00:20:57,888 She makes more than me? 552 00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,890 So, um, uh, h... how 'bout that grill, Burt? 553 00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:01,224 U... uh, if you're not using it, 554 00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:02,526 I'll take it off your hands. 555 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,627 Oh, of course. 556 00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:06,129 The guy who owns a bed and a sofa. 557 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:08,064 Now you get a free grill. 558 00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:10,367 - The rich get richer. - VIRGINIA: Sorry, guys. 559 00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:12,035 We're still using this one. 560 00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:13,570 Makes the perfect herb garden. 561 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,306 Thanks, buddy. 562 00:21:18,776 --> 00:21:19,810 (boat horn honks) 563 00:21:19,844 --> 00:21:21,812 MAN: Shirts and pants. 564 00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:24,522 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 565 00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:29,122 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0